Sarah Palin and Paul Revere

You just can’t make this stuff up, which is why the real Sarah Palin is even nuttier than Tina Fey’s fake Palin.

With Palin failing history so completely, is it any wonder that everyone keeps comparing her and Michele Bachmann?

UPDATE: For all our readers who can’t acknowledge any mistakes by Sarah Palin even when her exact words are ridiculous and clearly inaccurate, here’s a reenactment from Steven Colbert that highlights the absurdity of what Palin said.

The few historians defending her had to alter what she actually said to come up with a plausible explanation. Normal people would just admit that they misspoke on some of the details, but Sarah Palin isn’t normal. She has to stand her ground on EVERYTHING, no matter how stupid or ridiculous she sounds. Her supporters are no different. They jumped on Wikipedia and tried to change the Paul Revere page to reflect Palin’s absurd account.

This just reflects how polarized we’ve become. Both sides make mistakes, and both sides have buffoons like Sarah Palin and blowhards like Micheal Moore. Just ask yourself one question – are you constantly defending the buffoons on your own side? If so you’ve lost all perspective, along with your sense of humor about the absurdity of politics.

This is going to be a fun political season . . .

Saturday Night Live kicks off the 2012 presidential campaign with a spoof of the GOP candidates, focusing on those that haven’t announced yet. Tina Fey returns as Sarah Palin and she knocks it out of the park is usual. Her best line: “First I want to acknowledge that this week we finally vanquished one of the world’s great villains, and I for one am thrilled to say good riddance to Katie Couric!”

Bill Hader was hilarious as a “scared and horny” Shepard Smith.

Darrell Hammond also returned to spoof Donald Trump with a spot-on imitation. Let’s hope we see more of him as well along with the rest of the confederacy of dunces.

Donald Trump joins the Confederacy of Dunces

REFILE – CORRECTING YEAR Donald Trump speaks during the 38th annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) in Washington February 10, 2011. The CPAC is a project of the American Conservative Union Foundation. REUTERS/Joshua Roberts (UNITED STATES – Tags: POLITICS BUSINESS)

With characters like Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann, we’ve been referring to the lunatic fringe of the potential Republican primary field as the confederacy of dunces. Many conservatives seem to have lost their mind when it comes to President Obama, so much so that they will rally around buffoons like Palin and Bachmann.

In order to appeal to the growing lunatic fringe, you have otherwise sensible candidates like Mike Huckabee joining in with idiotic comments about Kenya. We expect this garbage from bomb-throwers like Newt Gingrich, but hearing Huckabee go off the deep end is further evidence that the right wing has serious problems.

Now we have Donald Trump joining in on the idiocy. He’s now gone full birther, saying that he’s very “concerned” over whether President Obama was born in this country. Trump has always been a self-promoting charlatan despite his obvious success as a real estate mogul, but this is truly embarrassing.

The GOP establishment is rightfully terrified by the prospect of any of these dunces drawing real support in the primaries. It will be hilarious to watch, and these GOP “leaders” are getting what they deserved, as they embraced Sarah Palin and her anti-intellectual gibberish when it suited them, and now they have to live with the mass hysteria she and her ilk have whipped up on the right.

The Buffoonery of Newt Gingrich

The Republican primaries might be the best comedy show in decades if each member of the confederacy of dunces decides to run. Goofballs like Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann set the standard here, but other like Rick Santorum and Mike Huckabee are doing their best to join this confederacy with their own idiotic statements.

And then we have Newt Gingrich, whose attempts to explain away his past adultery are pure comedy gold. Newt is smarter than buffoons like Palin and Bachman, but he’s also the smarmiest politician in recent memory. He’s mean-spirited and a hypocrite, and yet he thinks he can lecture others on morality. Lawrence O’Donnell has some fun with Newt’s most recent attempt to cite a “forgiving God.”

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Sarah Palin sinks to a new low

She’s a national embarrassment.

The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama’s “death panel” so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their “level of productivity in society,” whether they are worthy of health care. Such a system is downright evil.

This is what the right in America has come to, which shouldn’t be a surprise when one celebrates ignorance and mediocrity.

Frank Rich on the Palin fiasco

Frank Rich addresses the victim mentality that has consumed Palin and much of the Republican Party.

In the aftermath of her decision to drop out and cash in, Palin’s standing in the G.O.P. actually rose in the USA Today/Gallup poll. No less than 71 percent of Republicans said they would vote for her for president. That overwhelming majority isn’t just the “base” of the Republican Party that liberals and conservatives alike tend to ghettoize as a rump backwater minority. It is the party, or pretty much what remains of it in the Barack Obama era.

That’s why Palin won’t go gently into the good night, much as some Republicans in Washington might wish. She is not just the party’s biggest star and most charismatic television performer; she is its only star and charismatic performer. Most important, she stands for a genuine movement: a dwindling white nonurban America that is aflame with grievances and awash in self-pity as the country hurtles into the 21st century and leaves it behind. Palin gives this movement a major party brand and political plausibility that its open-throated media auxiliary, exemplified by Glenn Beck, cannot. She loves the spotlight, can raise millions of dollars and has no discernible reason to go fishing now except for self-promotional photo ops.

The essence of Palinism is emotional, not ideological. Yes, she is of the religious right, even if she winks literally and figuratively at her own daughter’s flagrant disregard of abstinence and marriage. But family-values politics, now more devalued than the dollar by the philandering of ostentatiously Christian Republican politicians, can only take her so far. The real wave she’s riding is a loud, resonant surge of resentment and victimization that’s larger than issues like abortion and gay civil rights.

Calling out Sarah Palin

The Sarah Palin farce was on full display last Friday, and more commentators are willing to speak the simple truth that she’s not suited for national office. Eugene Robinson sums it up nicely.

What can you say about a public official who ridicules those who would take the “quitter’s way out” — as she faces reporters to announce that she’s quitting? A governor who claims that “the worthless, easy path” would be to serve out the remaining 18 months of her term? An ambitious politician who says that “life is too short” to worry about, you know, boring things such as responsibility or duty?

You can say that all of us who ever took Sarah Palin seriously — or pretended to take her seriously — should be deeply ashamed. And you can say that John McCain should publicly apologize for putting the nation he loves at risk by choosing Palin as his running mate. Imagining Palin within a heartbeat of the presidency should be enough to make even die-hard Republicans shudder.

The reasons she gave for stepping down are not just contrived or implausible but literally nonsensical. She can most effectively serve the people of Alaska by ceasing to exercise the powers of chief executive? She worries that as a lame duck she would somehow be compelled to waste taxpayer money on useless junkets? In her “Don’t Cry For Me, Alaska” news conference announcing her departure, the folksy non sequiturs — “Only dead fish go with the flow” — were like nuggets of Cartesian logic amid a tub of mush.

But I’m stating the obvious. The thing is, Palin’s unsuitability for high public office has been obvious all along. Tina Fey got it right; the rest of us were far too reluctant to state plainly that the emperor, or empress, has no clothes.

Many of us in the blogosphere called this one early. It was obvious after her first two interviews that Sarah Palin was a joke as a vice presidential candidate. In many ways it wasn’t her fault. John McCain made the selection.

The pundits on television had to be more restrained, as Palin and the McCain campaign were “all in” playing the victim card.

Paul Begala ridicules Palin’s resignation speech

Pretty funny stuff.

Let’s stipulate that if there is some heretofore unknown personal, medical or family crisis, this was the right move. But Gov. Palin didn’t say anything like that. Her statement was incoherent, bizarre and juvenile. The text, as posted on Gov. Palin’s official website (here), uses 2,549 words and 18 exclamation points. Lincoln freed the slaves with 719 words and nary an exclamation; Mr. Jefferson declared our independence in 1,322 words and, again, no exclamation points. Nixon resigned the presidency in 1,796 words — still no exclamation points. Gov. Palin capitalized words at random – whole words, like “TO,” “HELP,” and “AND,” and the first letter of “Troops.”

Gov. Palin’s official announcement that she is resigning as chief executive of the great state of Alaska had all the depth and gravitas of a 13-year-old’s review of the Jonas Brothers’ album on Facebook. She even quoted her parents’ refrigerator magnet. (Note to self: if one of my kids becomes governor, throw away the refrigerator magnet that says: “Murray’s Oyster Bar: We Shuck Em, You Suck Em!”) She put her son’s name in quotations marks. Why? Who knows. She writes, “I promised efficiencies and effectiveness!?” Was she exclaiming or questioning? I get it: both! And I don’t even know what to make of a sentence that reads:

*((Gotta put First Things First))*

Ponder the fact that Rupert Murdoch’s Harper Collins publishing house is paying this, umm, writer $11 million for a book. Ponder that and say a prayer for Ms. Palin’s editor.

I’m no latter-day Strunk & White, just a guy who was struck by Palin’s spectacularly rambling and infantile prose. It bespeaks a rambling and infantile mind. But perhaps not. Perhaps this is all a ruse. Perhaps Gov. Palin wants us to believe she’s an intellectual featherweight who is slightly shallower than an actor on High School Musical. Maybe she’s trying to throw us off the trail.

Naah. A lot of people thought that about George W. Bush. He couldn’t be so block-headed, they said. He couldn’t be as childish and churlish as he came off. Oh yes he could. And so, too, might Ms. Palin be as vapid and puerile as her inane statement suggests.

Palin is cashing in. She’s going to get rich with her book and speaking fees, which is rather ironic as Begala points out. I hope she stays in the spotlight, as she’ll be constant reminder to all independents and moderate Republicans of what’s wrong with the Republican Party.

Sarah Palin steps down as governor of Alaska

Here’s her speech. It’s classic Sarah Palin – a rambling mess. It’s barely better than her answers to Katie Couric, but here she had time to prepare her remarks, though she didn’t seem to have the benefit of her old speechwriters from the McCain campaign.

This may seem like a low point for the Republican Party, but in many ways this is a gift, unless of course she actually decides to run for President. The GOP will be stuck in the mud so long as the base is infatuated with Sarah Palin, and perhaps this lame resignation will convince enough of them that she’s a fraud.

Melissa Francis – The Dumbest Person on CNBC

It’s quite an accomplishment to be the dumbest person on a business network that completely missed the financial crisis, but Melissa Francis takes the cake. She argues like a teenager, like today when she became totally fixated on a 30-point drop in the Dow while Obama was speaking, conveniently ignoring that the market had been up over 100 points, and had given back those gains just as Obama began speaking (meaning that the trend was down as he began speaking). Anyone with half a brain knows that swings in the market in the short term are often not rational. The market is rational over the long term, not the short term. Steve Leesman was totally exacerbated as he tried to reason with her to no avail. I’m sure he would have told her to shut the f%#& up if they weren’t on the air. It was one of the most embarrassing exchanges I’ve seen on a network that has come to be known for it’s inability to understand the financial markets it’s supposed to cover.

Unfortunately, this is the kind of “analysis” we’ve come to expect on CNBC. Commentators like Larry Kudlow have one answer to everything – lower taxes on the wealthy. Idiots like Jim Cramer scream about socialism, even though he supported Obama in the fall. They’re becoming the Sarah Palin of financial analysis.

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